Developing critical thinking is fundamental. It offers us growth and brings us closer to that state of well-being I keep describing. But thought inevitably leads to the concept of rhizome: how do we transmit these concepts? How do we transmit that spark of growth and evolution to others?
When I think about the blog or some conversations with friends, I notice a first step toward this rhizome. But there’s an even more powerful, even more difficult, even more important rhizome: children.
The Explosive Potential (and the Enormous Challenge)
Why are children the most complex rhizome? A young mind by its nature absorbs, shapes and evolves ideas and thoughts with remarkable speed and clarity. If well guided and nourished, it can trigger revolutions or important evolutions. The potential is explosive.
But here lies the challenge: is it really enough to just teach, to educate in the classical sense of the term? Exhaustion as a factor, we often limit ourselves to the obvious. Perhaps better than our parents, but without going deep, despite the effort this requires.
Sometimes the old education gets defended, but that, as many educators have said, was wrong. When we believe it was better back then, we lack the ability to contextualize and observe the bigger picture. Certainly, the current context, especially economic and social, puts us in difficulty and we make mistakes. But think about it: these are often mistakes with awareness, if not meta-awareness. We want to try to remedy them, we want to make a virtue of necessity. And this shows much of how we try to break the link with the past and approaches that are not, objectively, valid.
Verticalizing: Every Child Is a World
The rhizome with children comes from verticalizing. Because they are different from each other. They may have neurodivergences, AuDHD, ADHD or other conditions. But even without neurodivergence, they can have different intelligence or emotionality. Being generic doesn’t help and paradoxically causes even more effort.
Understanding them, comprehending them. Managing to create that mix where they can recognize us as authoritative, not authoritarian. As people to dialogue with and co-create solutions with. This can make the difference.
Reaching this goal starts from observation, from empathy, from silence and listening.
When they have tantrums, verticalization works. With one child, gamification works, turning everything into a game. With the other, a different strategy is needed, almost the one I use with certain clients: understanding the deep motivation behind the behavior, not stopping at the surface.
The Mistakes I’ve Made
I need to be honest. I’ve made mistakes. I understood some aspects late and regret is inside me.
Sometimes, when I was both tired and stressed, I gave in. I let them watch too many cartoons, too many YouTube videos, instead of dedicating myself to them. To be clear: they can watch some, but not too much. It’s passive and in my opinion harmful. Gaming is better, not to mention reading. By letting them watch too many videos, I made a mistake. The fault primarily of stress, fair enough, but I made the mistake. Period.
Other times not reading enough with them. Or getting angry when fatigue prevailed. Now I’ve understood these mechanisms, but sometimes they still prevailed. I’ve learned from these mistakes.
The timeline moves forward. I look at the past to understand the present and make the future better. It’s feasible also and especially because perceptual time is ours.
The Small Things That Make the Difference
So what really works? Small things. Not forced, but natural and immersed in our life cycle.
Knowing how to say no. Resisting temptation, especially when we’re tired, of easy solutions. Talking with them instead of scolding. Using the silence tactic: not reacting with words or anger when they get upset. Waiting. Observing.
Walking with them. Not necessarily in pleasant and forced places, but in the normal daily routine. We leave two minutes earlier from home and walk. Let’s make it a routine. We chat with them during the journey.
They confide problems with friends? We contextualize, understand, and don’t necessarily provide a solution. We try to co-create the dialogue. We give them the power of humor and sarcasm when appropriate. We use silence and complex words, making them understand the power of this.
They absorb in ways we can’t even imagine. At first it seems not to work, but in the long run results show. With a win-win-win scheme: them, us and society.
Admitting Mistakes with Them
There’s another key point: knowing how to admit mistakes and talk about them with children.
I care about this because reading this someone might think “Great father, look at that.” But it’s not like that. I’ve made mistakes, I’m still making them. The regret is there.
But the effort isn’t extreme. It’s manageable. And it can give so much afterward. This way a rhizome can grow and expand to full power.
If you read this post with the right abstraction, you’ll understand how the steps and examples are there. How certain things start from a walk and a conversation. How small things, not forced but natural, make the difference.