Free Thoughts

Renovating: why you can’t find the glass (and that’s okay)

Restructuring. Not the house. Myself. And in a house under renovation, it’s normal not to find the glass. Three rooms: kitchen (cognitive abilities), living room (relationships), bedroom (deep me and family). The kitchen is complete, sparkling. Metacognition, reticular thinking, everything ready. Living room in full work, objects boxed. Bedroom just started, the most delicate. This week I forgot household tasks. Banal things. With my memory it shouldn’t happen. Instead of worrying, I understood: I’m restructuring. Cognitive energy goes elsewhere. The glass is boxed, not lost. It happens. Not a problem. Unexpected things happen: broken pipe, power cut. Part of the process. That’s okay.

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When bias evolves: from frontal attack to subtle strategy

The bias I named has evolved. No longer frontal attack but subtle strategy: lateral attacks to refill cognitive bandwidth, cut supplies, block liberating activities. But I saw them in time. The twenty-six year war (18 years → 44 years) continues. The rhizome expands: me, the Friend with whom I exchange philosophical audio, others. Concentric circles, not hierarchy. Themistocles at Salamis: not brute force but strategy. Yesterday: Victoria 3, chaos orchestrator. Golf swing empties mind. The bias counterattacks. But I’m ready. The ball is mine.

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The technique that freed me from rumination: naming biases

This week I identified the bias that’s dominated me for decades: “I Depend on Others, I don’t collaborate with Others.” The technique of naming it—giving it a name when it arrives—depotentiated it. The brain shifts from passive to active. Rumination decreases, cognitive bandwidth frees up, ideas come. I haven’t solved it, but I no longer submit. The origin? Adolescence, adult responsibilities too soon. The catalyst? Amelia, 26 weeks, 710 grams, 109 days NICU. From forced hero to anti-hero to strategist. Naming, accepting, evolving. Tools make the difference.

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Golf, empty mind and perceptual time: my conscious refuge

Golf taught me something forced meditation never could: emptying the mind without forcing it. The swing demands free mind, present body. A few seconds in physical time, immense in perceptual time. Like when you play with your kids and look like a complete goofball: them happy, you happy. Empty mind, full joy. Golf isn’t just sport. It’s my way of finding harmony. Find your swing.

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Accepting is not surrendering: the power of conscious serenity

For years I thought accepting meant surrendering. But accepting is not submitting. It’s conscious strategy. From the science of post-trauma Tetris to the serenity/happiness distinction, to the paradox: when you stop fighting what you can’t change, you gain more power. Acceptance isn’t passivity. It’s emotional intelligence.

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