December 28, 2025. Last post of the year. Last post of this year rich in changes and started, de facto, with my burnout, what I called “controlled.” Uncontrolled August-December 2024, controlled January-June 2025. In short, completion of a year rich in material without a doubt and lived in evolving contexts, including the world economic and political condition. One certainly cannot say it was a boring year, let’s put it that way.
Perhaps the time has come to talk about Christmas, about my complex relationship with it.
Well-being, not forced happiness
Why do I talk about well-being and not happiness?
I don’t want to say that happiness doesn’t matter. Happiness is beautiful. Important. When it arrives, it’s powerful. But Christmas cannot be an obligation of happiness.
“You must be happy at Christmas. It’s Christmas!”
This compulsion creates the problem.
If we aim for forced happiness, what happens?
Very high expectations. Hyperfocus in the days before Christmas. We look for perfect gifts, organize lavish dinners, build the event as if it were the only moment of the year to be happy.
Then Christmas arrives. And what happens?
The gift made thinking about who receives it, about the person, their core, what truly matters to them, wasn’t what they expected. Discussions during dinner, the usual talk filled with love and false moralism or commenting on the bad things in the world. Being forced to eat as if we hadn’t eaten in years.
And after?
Inevitable down. Heaviness of food. Dopamine from gifts finished. Stress for New Year’s already starting, another similar compulsion.
Forced happiness equals temporary peak followed by fall.
Well-being is sustainable.
Well-being is: you finish the day and feel good. Serene. At peace.
Maybe even happy, yes. But happiness becomes a consequence, not an obligation.
Well-being allows happiness to emerge naturally. Without compulsion. Without expectations that crush.
Happiness comes and goes. Well-being remains.
And when you build well-being, happiness arrives more often. Because it has space to emerge.
Christmas lived with well-being becomes a significant event where the possibility of happiness increases. Not guaranteed, that would be compulsion, but possible.
This is the power of well-being.
It doesn’t eliminate happiness. It frees it.
The compulsions I’ve lived
I’ve never lived Christmas well. I admit it candidly. Unfortunately, my son Marco also noticed and I’m sorry. I tried to explain it to him, although I believe I haven’t done it well yet.
How do you explain to your son that the problem isn’t the gifts, the wishes, the dinners? That those are fine, they’re beautiful, they make sense?
The problem is the how.
Forced gifts, bought in a rush because “you must.” Mechanical wishes, repeated without feeling. Lavish meals organized like work tasks, where quantity matters not the quality of the moment. It’s not what you do. It’s how you do it.
A gift made thinking about who receives it, about the person, their core, what truly matters to them, regardless of economic value, becomes meaningful. A heartfelt wish, even just “I love you,” becomes real. A dinner shared with serenity, even simple, becomes well-being.
But when it becomes obligation, compulsion, task to complete? It loses meaning. It becomes a burden.
And I lived this for too long. Compulsion to organize like a business project: Christmas Eve, Christmas, Boxing Day. Tasks. Deadlines. “By December 23 everything closed, ready January 7.”
Result? January 7 hyper-stressful. Short circuit.
And Marco saw it. He saw his father live Christmas as if it were work to complete, not a significant event to live. I’m trying to explain to him: it’s not Christmas the problem. It’s how I lived it. But we can live it differently.
Gifts yes. Wishes yes. Dinners yes.
But with the right mindset. Not compulsion.
This year: something is changing
This year was different. Thanks to the journey made and still ongoing, something is starting to change. I made the forced part background noise, the part that isn’t mine. I focused on living the event, on seeing the children happy. Amelia happy about the Santa Claus idea my wife had.
Not perfect. Not resolved. But first step.
Hope, not certainty
I hope to be able in the future to live the power that an event like Christmas can give, because significant days are needed, they’re truly needed. In 365 days, 366 every four let’s not forget, having key events, moments with meaning can give us much, and Christmas is one of those that if lived well, if separated from compulsions, becomes a precious moment, perhaps the main one of the year.
But not as a watertight compartment where you enter forcedly happy, exit with chaos multiplied by ten, where you close everything by December 23 to be ready January 7 with the result that the 7th becomes a day of maximum stress, short circuit that repeats every year.
Significant events require true rituals, not compulsions, not obligations imposed by consumer society or religious pressures emptied of meaning. True rituals are moments shared with the right mindset, gifts thought for who receives them not bought in a rush because you must, heartfelt wishes even just “I love you” instead of mechanical formulas, serene dinners even simple instead of lavish by obligation. Shared well-being, not forced happiness.
My wife lives this, lights, clothes, ideas for Marco and Amelia, she has the right mindset and I envy this in a positive sense, I’d like to have it too but I still can’t get into it, too long I’ve lived it badly, too long forced. But I’m learning.
This year was the first step, I made the compulsions background noise, I concentrated on the real event, on happy children, on Amelia happy for the Santa Claus idea my wife had. It’s not easy, it’s not resolved, but it’s possible. And perhaps, step by step, crumb by crumb, I’ll manage to live Christmas as a significant event with well-being, and perhaps as a consequence, not as an obligation, also with happiness. Not because I must be happy at Christmas, but because I’ll be free to feel it when it arrives. I hope I’ve explained myself.