A conversation with a friend brought up a word that struck me and got me thinking: demotivated. Demotivation, contrary to what one might expect, also hits people you would never expect it to. People who pour their soul into what they do, fight the status quo, invest in younger generations, channel enormous cognitive energy into helping and changing things. Not because they are fanatics, but because they genuinely believe in it and it is part of who they are. When the world, in every way possible, tries to defend the status quo and rejects every attempt at change, it can lead these people to demotivation. And sometimes, in the worst cases, to cynicism.
Why It Happens to Them
Why does this happen to the very people from whom we would expect anything but giving up? Because without allies you are alone, and being alone demands an enormous amount of cognitive bandwidth. If we only push forward, leading with force and energy but setting no boundaries, carving out no time for ourselves, applying none of the ethical pragmatism that sustaining a life requires, demotivation is waiting right around the corner.
It is not weakness. It is physics. It is mathematics.
The Marathon Runner and the 40 Kilometers
Being able to place Go stones with vision, structure, and a systemic approach, while also staying fluid enough to reposition when needed, makes all the difference. At the beginning it demands effort and cognitive bandwidth. But when the first results appear, the first signals, micro-gratification kicks in, allies begin to show up, and these elements reinforce the path.
Think of a marathon. In the final two kilometers, when you are ready to quit, you see the stadium, you enter, you hear the crowd, and you tell yourself: “I can do this.” But before reaching those final two kilometers you have to get through the wall at kilometer 40. The first ten are full of energy, but without a systemic approach, without boundaries and recovery moments, that water station that feels like a waste of time, you will not make it through the next ten.
Demotivation is the runner who pushes flat out and hits kilometer 20 already spent, watching spectators turn away, the stadium nowhere in sight. The runner who builds a system and adjusts strategy is at kilometer 23, tired but energized by a supporter cheering them on and a sign showing the stadium getting closer.
The Self-Feeding Loop
When we build a system, the difficulty is front-loaded. But if we hold on and do not quit, it enters a virtuous loop. And when we are burned out, ready to give in, that single event arrives to show you that the Go stone was placed well and is now bearing fruit. This also helps when you find stones placed badly, because instead of stopping, you recalibrate and relaunch.
It sounds like hope for its own sake. But it is not.
I have seen this mechanism work in practice, in someone who had invested years of genuine energy, found themselves on the edge of walking away from everything, and then, in a different context with someone to share the path with, found their direction again. Not through magic. Through system. Because stones placed with patience, even the ones that look passive, eventually show their value.
Noradrenaline as an Ally, Not a Engine
In my past, energy came from constant noradrenaline. A serious mistake, and one I learned the hard way. Then everything changed, and now when noradrenaline activates I recognize it as a tactical ally, not my only fuel. The body, though, always aligns after the mind, and if we do not read its signals we risk interpreting as an alarm what is simply the body updating its automatisms, like software that has not yet installed the new version. It is up to us to show it there is nothing to worry about. And gradually, everything aligns.